tom writes (emphasis mine):
The evolution of sexuality is not shrouded in mystery or debated, the facts have been known for decades, and they don’t take away the “magic” from life as that’s not what they explain. But if you want to know why men and women behave sexually the way they do, start with Dr Buss’ research, or Dawkins, or even Darwin. It’s what the Mystery Method is based on, and the writings of Tomassi and Heartiste too. No one debates the fundamentals.
The tough love bit of my comment Riv is to say that I think, like Krauser admits he had in the past too, you do have traces of the purity fantasy and some pedestalisation symptoms. These are the bitter side-effects of swallowing Red Pill knowledge but they vanish once you see that the truth works in your favour … girls are horny, girls love sex, girls love dirty stuff, girls with boyfriends or husbands sleep around etc. It’s not their fault – the way they behave depends on the guy they’re with. Once I realised that I felt like a kid in a sweet shop :)
Two articles I really like (along with Tyler’s Secret Society one of course):
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/the-reason-beta-males-pedestalize-women/
http://therationalmale.com/2012/01/06/the-slut-paradox/
Hope that didn’t come across as arrogant or harsh mate, I just want you to smash these last old beliefs so you can smash whatever you want to smash ;)
Man love,
TT
1. my first comment is, tom torero is the best out there, and i feel quite lucky to be getting his insight into my weak spots and what i still need to work on. so thank you, tom. not harsh at all. very, very helpful.
2. and here is the tough part (again, emphasis mine):
These are the bitter side-effects of swallowing Red Pill knowledge but they vanish once you see that the truth works in your favour … girls are horny, girls love sex, girls love dirty stuff, girls with boyfriends or husbands sleep around etc. It’s not their fault – the way they behave depends on the guy they’re with.
sometimes i feel strong, and sometimes i feel weak, but when i feel weak — like right now — i get really angry, and in my head, i have a temper tantrum, no! no! no! that’s not what i want!!! like a child, really. how could this work in my favor when i all i really want is a nice, pretty, sexy girl who i can TRUST, who will love ONLY ME, who does not have a SORDID sexual past, who is not a WHORE, who has not swallowed gallons of CUMMM in dirty nightclub bathrooms, a girl i can kiss without thinking about how many DICKS she has sucked with those pretty lips of hers.
yeah, it is very childish and insecure and weak, and that is my ego revolting, evidently — but it is also my sense of fairness, honor, dignity and style (???) — or SOMETHING.
i don’t know exactly what it is. but i know that i don’t want to fall in love with a whore.
it would be embarrassing.
3. to be continued.
***
Men and women both have a wide variety of socio-sexual scores. Some women DO marry as virgins and DO die only having ever had sex with their husband.
In any group of women in any country, there will be a wide variance in the desire for novelty and openness to new sexual experiences.
It’s black and white thinking to try to correct for an error in thinking that may not be an error at all. Sure, all women should be seen of as a risk for infidelity. We never know. But it’s lying to ourselves in order to inure ourselves from the pain of heartbreak to say that all women will sooner or later fuck some other guy.
Yes, even virgins that a man marries are a risk. But risk is not equal to certainty. If it was we would use a different word.
I’ve been grappling with a lot of the same issues you’re dealing with in this purity series. My girl was the textbook example of the girl you can TRUST. Her worldview is deeply founded on the ideas of sacrifice and giving yourself to the man you love. She was smart, funny, loved to cook and clean for me. Etc.
I will say that I deeply admire her beauty, however at the same time, I don’t feel a deep sexual attraction toward her. I’ve tried to analyze whether that is due to my burnout with so much “random” sex the last few years, or whether I can change it in some way by changing the focus of my thoughts.
The conclusion I think I’ve come to, is that youth & sexual attractiveness do have to come first. No matter how much I try to will myself to want to spend the rest of my life building a family with her, I feel it’s forced and unnatural on some level. At least right now, when I believe that I have more living and growing to do (especially building a career & money). If I was ready to have kids this moment, she is still young and fertile enough to do that. But I can’t really believe that if I commit to her now, that when I want to have kids in 3-5 years I will somehow feel better about the situation than I do now.
I think you have to go off of true, deep attraction FIRST. That is how men “fall in love.” But as you get to know her, you screen and learn more about whether she is actually fit to be a mother to your children. Then, you build that feeling of “love” through your shared experiences and companionship. But if you don’t start with a strong sexual desire, you’ll always feel something is missing. It won’t feel completely natural.
In other words, your head, heart, and dick must all be in complete agreement that she is someone worth committing to. If not, you’ll always be fighting an uphill battle. At least when considering longterm commitment.