so you’re walking into your favorite bakery across the street from your apt. it’s a nice day so the front door of the bakery is open, but as you’re walking in, by mistake the chubby, friendly bakery girl closes the door on you, and you have to stop it from hitting you. she is a nice girl, you’ve chatted with her before, and you know she didn’t do it on purpose — she was sweeping and wasn’t looking up — but it isn’t the most alpha moment of your life, that’s for sure.
so you stop the door from hitting you, walk into the bakery, and she makes a joke, in spanish, “that’s what’s called getting the door slammed right on the nose!” she is teasing but she isn’t being mean-spirited. she is just trying to diffuse the situation the best way she knows how, by making a joke.
so what do you say?
well, most blue pill dorks, i can see them agreeing and amplifying, but the wrong way, maybe saying something like, “what did i do wrong??” or “have i been a bad customer?”, something stupid like that, with a dorky “you caught me” smile. like i said, agreeing and amplifying, but against themselves, in a self deprecating way.
these are the hover hand boys.
that is *not* the way to go about it.
so, what did i say?
answer in the comments.
—
the full bakery series:
frame controlling at the bakery, part 1
frame controlling at the bakery, part 2
frame controlling at the bakery, part 3
frame controlling at the bakery, part 4
frame controlling at the bakery, part 5
frame controlling at the bakery, part 6
dude, don’t just click on the link and look for the answer. actually think of what you would say. practice controlling the frame. remember how important frame control is, and not just with girls, but in general. like heartiste said, “Frame control is the sinew and gristle of inner game [i would say game, period]. The importance of owning the frame can’t be understated.” http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/freeze-frame-controlling-the-conversation/
so, if this happened to you, what would you say to ms. chubby?
Why would I say anything? She’s a chubby girl who works at a place i am buying something. Smile and get about your business.
I get your point Jason, but in everyday situations like this if you exert frame control it will become much more natural and congruent when you do it in pick up.
Also, what if an incredibly hot girl walks in mid sentence. She’ll see you make the chubby girl giggle, smirk nonchalantly and you’ll instantly seem hotter in her eyes.
What if the chubby girl has a hot bakery friend workmate who she talks to about you.
They’re unlikely but happen more than not. Take every chance.
In saying that I would say exasperatedly and over the top with emotion ‘consuela! If that’s how you treat your most attractive customer I’d hate to see how you treat everyone else’. Then laugh.
Sorry, bullshit.
You want to maintain frame? Behave like a hot chick. Do you think a hot chick would banter with the beta schlub that closed the door in her face? No, she would ignore him and get on with her day.
“Be more careful next time.” With direct eye contact and no hint of a smile. Not with a contemptuous expression, though; just a commanding expression. The point being to hold the tension as long as possible, and not let her off the hook.
Make a gun with you hand, aim at her, say “Bang” in a slow sultry way, and conclude with a smirked “I won!” statement. Laugh shortly. Ignore her.
I would’ve just teased her about being mean or in a bad mood and doing things like that to all the customers.
Things happen in life, doesn’t mean you can’t joke about them when you’re “alpha”.
Before reading parts 2 onward, or any comments:
(faux-gasp to defuse/discredit her childish pretend-toughness) “Apparently someone’s got it out for me.” Then proceed to go about my business unaffected.
or
“Uh huh, but you’ll have to try harder than that!”
both with a cocky-funny vibe. If it was a joke, getting overly serious (i.e. not returning the joke) isn’t justified. Maybe treat her a bit like a child for clumsiness: “You won’t be in business very long if you keep slamming the door on good customers!”
“ah, but senorita, in my case the nose is not the first part of the body to be hit…”
In my case, since this scenario is a Japanese bakery, I would make a double entendre joke about my nose being long, you know since I am a foreigner, and you know what they say about foreigners.