When to stay, when to go

RIV STORY

i get off at sol to hit the movie theatre, but in the metro station i see this very cute brunette sitting and playing with her phone. she is so damn cute. ideal girl next door look. she looks french. young and stylish.

i am not warmed up at all so i whiff and get annoyed at myself. i walk right past her on the stairs. damn it. my excuse is, i gotta go watch a movie. i hear myself say this. ha, that’s not true. i don’t even know what’s playing or when. and the idea is to have fun and not work. nobody says i need to go see a movie — it’s *good* for me to see a movie once a week, and it *is* something structural that i am trying to do, but banging a very cute french girl, that works too as far as having fun and enjoying life. i have no excuse. i go back down the stairs, and now the pressure is building. seated sets are hard, especially after 3 seconds x100 have passed. i am getting rusty, i am telling you. gotta get back to 10 approaches per week. so far in jan 2016 i’ve been doing about 3-4 per week.

anyway, long story short, i finally go up and talk to her, and i say about four words and of course her bf — or some dude — shows up. i actually wasn’t ready for this, i hadn’t experienced a bf interrupt in a while, so i quickly say “she looked nice” to the guy and walk away quickly. very embarrassing. i am very rusty.

YOHAMI ADVICE

When you’re talking to a girl and a guy shows up, stay there. Game him too. Finish your story or your joke and keep your boundary. There’s nothing awkward about it. The guy will attempt to match his dick with yours, let him, and amog him. Wait until the girl makes the pick, which will be an obvious move, like hugging and kissing the guy, that’s your cue. In some cases, if she likes you more than the other guy, she’ll use you to create jealousy and what not. If you are a better prospect she’ll pick you. Girls are like that. That situation could have ended with the other guy running and crying and you getting your dick wet. Again, girls are like that. We’ll never know because you ran away for no reason.

Funny thing is, you don’t even know if the guy was the boyfriend, but you gave him enough social validation that if he wasn’t, she probably still fucked him that night.

MY QUESTION

so yohami, my question is, do you really think i should do this, as opposed to just going to find another girl who is by herself?

or are you using this more as a general lesson that i should be more masculine and not back away from potential confrontation?

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
this is a good story because nothing happened but i got good practice and i had fun.

THE STORY
i am leaving work at a good hour on wednesday, not taking my computer home, gonna go watch a movie and chill. no work, no worrying, making it a point to enjoy life. i get off at sol to hit the movie theatre, but in the metro station i see this very cute brunette sitting and playing with her phone. she is so damn cute. ideal girl next door look. she looks french. young and stylish.

i am not warmed up at all so i whiff and get annoyed at myself. i walk right past her on the stairs. damn it. my excuse is, i gotta go watch a movie. i hear myself say this. ha, that’s not true. i don’t even know what’s playing or when. and the idea is to have fun and not work. nobody says i need to go see a movie — it’s *good* for me to see a movie once a week, and it *is* something structural that i am trying to do, but banging a very cute french girl, that works too as far as having fun and enjoying life. i have no excuse. i go back down the stairs, and now the pressure is building. seated sets are hard, especially after 3 seconds x100 have passed. i am getting rusty, i am telling you. gotta get back to 10 approaches per week. so far in jan 2016 i’ve been doing about 3-4 per week.

anyway, long story short, i finally go up and talk to her, and i say about four words and of course her bf — or some dude — shows up. i actually wasn’t ready for this, i hadn’t experienced a bf interrupt for a while, so i quickly say “she looked nice” to the guy and walk away quickly. very embarrassing. i am very rusty.

well, as they say, the best way to get over love is to love more, and the best way to get over a crap approach is approach more. i start looking for another cute brunette to approach, and i see this:

looks good for her age

looks good for her age

 

not brunette, but skinny and stylish.

i walk into top shop, go up to her and she opens, but starts asking questions. she just arrived today from brussels, she is swedish, she is here for work for a few days. is this plaza de españa? no, it’s sol. what are some cool things to do in madrid? many things.

she is pretty, stylish, skinny, and swedish. the three S’s and the P too. let’s do this.

i invite her to go for a drink and to show her plaza de españa. she says yes. we go, walk around, go for a drink at mercado de san miguel. we talk about a bunch of stuff, including “the game” which she read because her ex-bf had it. oh yeah, and she has a bf, but whatever. she is a cool, interesting girl.

i bounce her to a cooler cafe in a cooler neighborhood, where i live, and we get some food, have some wine, talk more.

then i bounce her to my apt to show her my photography.

then i walk her to the metro.

no sex, no anal sex, no double penetration, but a good night, and good practice leading and moving a girl around.

1. BRING OUT THE WHIP
where i attack myself mercilessly for making a mistake.

2. SEXUAL PAIN
where i anguish over girls i didn’t fuck, or just anguish over seeing a beautiful girl on the street, or on TV, or in a movie, or on my computer screen.

3. WOE IS ME
where i play the victim in my own life, and think back to all the things that went wrong, that i regret, that i miss, that i wish i could get back.

4. SCARY MOVIE!
where i have some violent fleeting thought, about death or suffering or something going horribly wrong.

5. WHATS THE POINT
where i get all philosophical about life and conclude that everything is meaningless so why even try.

What Andreea isn’t

what andreea isn’t:

-she isn’t french
-she isn’t german
-she isn’t swedish
-she isn’t dutch
-she isn’t 23 or 25 or even 27
-she doesn’t come from a wealthy family
-she doesn’t blow me away with her sophistication and taste
-she doesn’t have that intellectual curiosity which i love, like estela or gloria for example, who love to read, who read really interesting books, who get my weird crazy ideas and feed of them.
-she doesn’t have long, dark hair or even long, blond hair

and here are more things that bother me about her:

-she is romanian, which has a lot less cache than being german or french or swedish or dutch. in fact, it has negative cache in my mind.

-she speaks english with a slight accent. she speaks it very well, but she does mix up “take” and “get” sometimes, which annoys me and turns me off.

but here is what she is:

-she is the first girl in five years that wants me, that i am proud to show off to anyone and everyone in my social circle. of course, i have *wanted* other girls who i would have loved to show off — so many girls come to mind, but in particular patricia — but they didn’t want me back. andreea really *does* want me. she is crazy about me. raquel (blondie) was crazy about me, but i didn’t like her *at all*. fucking her was hot but gross. she was sexy at first — nice bit tits, great round ass, nice legs — but then she got fat. and i was never crazy about her face. i love andreea’s face. she is so damn pretty. i think she is incredibly pretty. her eyes blow me away.

-when i was hanging out with her over the summer, i ran into an important work contact, and i was very happy to be seen with her. i remember that. happy and proud. even though here in spain they look down on romanians, i was happy and proud to have her on my arm. i was.

-i trust her. i really do. she has this incredibly kind and giving heart. she feels so good. not just sexually. she loves to hug me and hold me, and having her little body next to mine feels so good. and she makes me come very, very hard. i know that this is mixing up sex and affection — exactly what 60 years warns us not to do — but man, the combination cocktail drug that andreea feeds me, of sex, love, affection, and coming so hard — jesus christ, that’s intense. and it’s with a girl i trust and care about.

so that’s a quick update on how i feel about andreea. she is definitely winning me over.

oh yeah, and her feet are so soft. her legs are so soft. her ass is so round and juicy. her eyes are so pretty. i love picking her up and throwing her on the bed. i love being inside her. she feels delicate and special when she is in my arms. she really does.

Good quote

“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.”
-James Baldwin

and brenee brown would probably add:

shame.

New Music 2016

WEEK 2
mumford and sons

WEEK 3
spoon

#newmusicnewmemories

***

THE THEORY
is that new music keeps me young. new music = new mental and emotional scripts in my head, new memories, new ideas, a new soundtrack for my new life. only listening to old music makes me feel old and stale, and repeats old scripts in my head. it’s hard to grow when i am only listening to old music.

THE GAME
every week i pick a new band and listen to it on soundcloud, starting with their most popular songs. starting on monday, i have seven days to listen to their songs, and by the following monday, i need to pick three of their songs to add to my new music playlist. if for some reason, i really can’t find three songs of theirs that i like, i can switch bands, but then i gotta hurry, because i still have the same deadline.

every month, i will have 12 new songs in my playlist and in my life. and from these 12 songs, every month i pick 5 of them as my standout favorites, and carry them over to the next month as songs i can listen to while i find new bands and new songs.

i can listen to old music too, of course, but not too much. i need to push myself to discover new music, just like i need to push myself to discover new opportunities and discover new adventures and create new memories.

THE RESULTS SO FAR
i am two weeks in and i am liking the game so far. for week 1, i didn’t do the game because i was still coming up with the idea. for week 2, i picked mumford and sons — the band that the german bitch recommended — and i found more than three songs i really liked. funny how in the end i picked their three most popular songs on spotify — believe, i will wait for you, and the cave — and i sort of felt like a conformist dork for picking these songs, but then i told myself, hey this is a band that you hadn’t even heard of a few weeks ago! you didn’t know anything about them and now you like their music, have new music in your life, and it’s okay to like their popular songs!

for week 3, i started using metacritic and so i am listening to spoon. so far, so good.

maybe that’s the best way i can phrase it.

i know a huge reason i am not getting laid as much as i should be is because i still pedestalize like a madman. this has deeper causes — i idealize girls, i idealize sex, i think beautiful girls and sex are the most fascinating things that exist in this world — so all this idealization makes me see girls as divine, fragile, porcelain-like creatures — with saint like faces and ghostlike souls, as dylan might say — and yeah, that’s exactly the wrong attitude.

i know that’s the wrong attitude, the wrong mindset, but what can i say, i still do it. i guess it’s a very old, deep habit, and it sort of gives my life meaning. it gives me the “why” so i can stand the “how” of life.

beautiful girls make life bearable. i guess that’s the deep, deep script that’s in my head. it just popped into my head right now, as i was trying to explain it.

so if you don’t have this mindset, be thankful. i think it’s part of my artist profile, that i find life so mundane, and that all my life i have looked for things to get me out of the mundane and out of the ordinary.

art and sex, basically.

and women, to me, are works of art. the greatest work of art is the female form.

(with the exception of her elbows).

anyway, getting way off topic.

girls love dirty dirty dirty sex, and the prettiest she is, the more she wants come all over her face.

or something like that.

so, to get back to the boring girl idea, krauser has some excellent insight into how to position her and frame her as NOT boring so that she will choose to have adventure sex with me.

in this case, the strategy is not to challenge her and tease her as being boring — putting her into a box she wants to get out of — instead, it’s to lead her, to say, i know you are not a boring girl! i know that you look like a good girl, but that really there’s a tiger waiting to come out!

from his blog:

We’re reframing the girl on the good girl / bad girl spectrum. We are inviting her to position herself as either:

-The bad girl who has to pretend to be a good girl, but we both know better, nudge wink

-The good girl who has a bad girl inside her trying to get out

Both positions increase the likelihood of fast sex. The alternative is for her to be one of those boring good girls just like everyone else. We are making an identity play on her wish to be different from all those other girls.

So we cold read the girl and reframe the adventure sex option.

“You look like a kitten on the outside but there’s a tiger inside.”

“I get the feeling you are more adventurous than you look.”

“Look at that [item of clothing]. You almost convinced me you were a good girl until I noticed that.”

so there you have it.

i gotta start doing this. i don’t think i have done this once. it’s a great strategy. very, very savvy.

***

i need to do this during my photo shoots too.

very important.

***

“You look like a kitten on the outside but there’s a tiger inside.”

and it’s true. there’s a tiger inside every girl because all girls are whores.

***

especially patricia. she’s a fucking whore and a cunt too.

 

 

 

 

good, fundamental tips from yad’s newsletter:

 

The top three things that are preventing you from getting the results you really want:

#1 – You’re putting too much emphasis on the starting point of the conversation.

If the act of approaching feels draining, it’s because you are spending too much effort to break through your social anxiety. You see a gorgeous girl, and you think to yourself:

“Alright, there she is… I have to approach her… what do I say? What do I do?”

If by the time you approach you’ve spent 90% of your energy, and it’s very difficult to keep the conversation going.

The Fix: The first thing you need to do is, stop putting so much emphasis on the starting point of the conversation! If you spend too much energy on trying to figure out every possible outcome of the interaction, you’ll MISS THE INTERACTION! The mistake you’re making is that you are using conversation as a CRUTCH, instead of as a CATALYST.

You need to learn to use the conversation as a trigger, so that when you talk to her, it stirs an emotion in her that is so deep, so impactful – she can’t help but want to get to know you. If you can learn to do that, starting the conversation becomes EFFORTLESS!

#2 – You’re outcome dependent.

If you are failing to escalate properly – it’s because you are still outcome dependent. You are focused on the result, on the outcome, on the reward… the entire goal of your engagement is for a certain outcome, and it’s very obvious to her. She can sense it.

You have to understand that women are very intuitive – their sense of intuition has been highly developed throughout the course of history. Their intuition is their survival mechanism. If she sense that you want something from her, her first instinct will be to move away from you as quickly as possible.

That is NOT what you want.

The Fix: Stop depending on an outcome, any outcome. Approach for the fun of it, talk for the fun of it, get laid for the fun of it.

#3 – You are FAILING to Transition the Conversation to Sex.

If you are failing to to transition the conversation to sex, it’s because you aren’t using the right triggers. Women are very prone to suggestive language. A man may be driven by the physical act of having sex, but for a woman – just the act of VISUALIZING sex is enough to turn her on (that’s why women read romance novels).

For her – the visualization of having sex is enough to get her to want to have sex – her own internal language is her trigger. If she meets a guy and instantly tells herself that she wants to sleep with him, that’s going to be the only trigger that needs to happen for him to get laid.

Hint: You want to be that guy. ;)

If you can set off that trigger, you can do everything wrong – you can spill your drink on her, act like a total goofball, but as long as that switch stays flipped – you’re getting laid.

So, the obvious question is – What do you do to set up the trigger in her brain?

The Fix:

We’re going to be breaking down suggestive language patterns, and a bunch of other ways that you can trigger sex within the conversation on our second webinar on January 24th. So make sure you don’t miss it! We’ll talk about how to fire off specific triggers in her brain that override her logical responses, make her crave you to the point where it becomes unbearable for her, and a bunch of other powerful techniques.

he doesn’t really answer the last question, but i really liked the “approach for the fun of it” line. i was forgetting that.

no, correction, i’ve done four approaches this week *so far*.

i am going back to doing ten per week. i don’t want to lose this skill and this habit.

even if it takes up a bit of my time, and slightly distracts me, i need to just incorporate it into my daily life.

approaching is a big part of the “life is full of beautiful opportunities” mindset which i am working on cultivating.

***

the fourth girl, this pretty spanish blond, man it was a good approach, and damn she didn’t reply.

serenity now.

Krauser on Tyler

from his blog:

Tyler is a mad genius. I can’t comment on his infield ability because I don’t know anyone who has hung out with him and I’m very suspicious of RSD infields and their business model. However, taking his theory works on their own merits he deserves his place in the Hall of (F)Game. The Blueprint Decoded was a game-changer when it was released and had a big effect on me in 2010. I still recommend my readers check it out – there’s stuff in there that’s likely to blow your mind. That said, lots of it is cribbed from Frank Kern’s “Core Communication” seminar a year earlier. I’m less enthusiastic with his 2013+ material especially the free talks on YouTube. It seems now he’s often talking like he’s paid by the word and he often disappears up his own arsehole. However, every now and then I’ll check out one of his videos and find some insightful analysis in there.

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