Makeout with Imma

she was turned on by my ZFG attitude.

this ZFG attitude was easy, though, because she was 40 years old.

***

nothing a woman does can compare with the freshness of youth. but, imma was looking very sexy (for her age). she was wearing a short, stylish knit dress, with sexy platform sandals (i usually hate platform sandals), and a gold small bag. a really sexy and classy outfit.

and she was very polished, from her nails and toenails to her perfume and makeup.

the skin on her legs was also very smooth.

***

that was last night. this morning i am not feeling so great about hooking up with her. her new nickname is OCR. but i am not going to say what that stands for, since it’s rude.

***

but one thing i did do last night was that i was much more open about me and my life. i am sort of working the “tortured artist” angle. reminds me of the seinfeld episode where jerry is dark and mysterious.

craftsmanship. i love that term. so much of contemporary art is the opposite of that, it is what we insiders like to call “CBS” or conceptual bullshit.

but craftsmanship is the real thing. it is developing a skill to the point of being an expert. like the japanese swordsmaker who has been making swords for decades, and who learned from his father, who had learned from his father, etc. i think that they had something like that in kill bill.

or, like gary gulman. now i know that i am more of a nerd than a lot of people, and that i love pedantic jokes — especially if they involve words and grammar — but still, i was really impressed by his latest stand up on conan. it is, imo, storytelling at an expert level. he creates this world, weaves in different characters, tells stories within stories — and he even makes up the entire scenario. there really isn’t a documentary about this topic. i know, because i looked into it.

here’s the clip. it’s 6 minutes of storytelling mastery.

and here’s the key point. check out gary gulman from ten years ago, from his 2006 special “boyish man”:

http://www.veoh.com/watch/v203795996npBkGBX

i mean, it’s okay. but i am seven minutes in and i am not sure i will be able to finish it. he is jewish, so he starts talking about being jewish, making jewish jokes, comparing it to christmas, etc etc. same old, same old. same topics that have been covered so many times. it’s beginner level comedy.

***

and the point of all *this* is to remind me that i shouldn’t quit my photography. i am getting better. i need to keep going.

it’s not like i have a choice, anyway.

Mariana the whore

1. today i ran into mariana, a girl i had kissed last summer. when i met her last year, she was shy and sweet and creative, and had just gotten out of a long relationship. we had a good connection. she was the girl who knew what wabi sabi was.

2. that was last year. she fell off the radar, and i ran into her a few more times. the last time she had cut her hair.

3. today when i saw her, she wasn’t looking so good. she was looking more used up, and she was hanging out with some good looking australian musician who was carrying around his guitar. his name was sam.

4. it was a weird meeting. i felt jealous and angry that she was fucking this dude, but i also was surprised by how used up she looked.

5. that’s the entire story.

rivelino: yohami, what are your views on women?

yohami: Too broad? in essence, women’s mission is to filter the good seed from the bad seed and built a safe network to raise children. Everything comes from there.

rivelino: okay, that’s a good start. so what would you say are some of the good things about women, and some of the bad things.

yohami: I dont see good or bad things about women, there’s only nature.

rivelino: such a PC answer. disappointing.

rivelino: so if we read yohami’s writing, we can get some hints into what he thinks of women. for example, today he wrote “everything they do is deliberate.” yohami, can you explain this some more?

yohami: Sure. Women are constantly reading people and making them act on their behalf. To get what they want, women get other people to do it. Sometimes this just means that they verbalize the things they want out loud, sometimes they just hint and want others to listen. Women are ten times more aware of social cues, communication, subcomunication, subtext, context, than the common man will ever be.

The force driving all of that is self preservation. Which is not a moral nor a code of conduct and doesn’t resemble what men have. Put a bunch of guys together and they’ll write a book of rules so everyone can be measured against the same standard. Put a bunch of women together and they will instead form alliances to grant resources and to kick out the competition. It’s men’s meritocracy vs women’s socialism.

In seduction and relationships, from the moment a woman sees you she puts you in a category and will rarely move your from it. The categories are about what you are useful for and how you fit in her existing network of relationships and resources. How they act and how they treat you is all designed to produce responses in you. It’s “manipulative” in nature but not the pejorative connotation, it just is. It surrounds you and guides you through external cues, it embraces you, as opposed to penetrating you and confronting you, it’s soft rather than hard, but it’s a pretty strong force.

Whatever she does is deliberate in that it has ulterior motives. Your capacity to understand the ulterior non verbalized motives is what women call the capacity to “listen” and “get” women. Women get other women, few men get women.

rivelino: from this insight, it sounds like women are very savvy. to get what they want, they get other people to do it, and they always have an ulterior motive. so what type of woman would make for a good girlfriend? are there different types of women, or are they all ultimately the same?

yohami: Girlfriend = relationship, so it will come down to what matches your. Write a list of the emotions you experience more frequently, the girlfriend will either increase these or make you dull. So first become someone you like and then browse girls from there, but, assuming that you are aiming to be the man and you want to be happy:

1) A girl who is not crazy, not broken, is not BPD, narcissistitc, sadistic, doesnt see men as toys, is not a feminist, etc

2) A girl who likes you more than any other man she has access to, preferable if this includes celebrities and other men on the media

3) A girl who has a lot of sexual appetite and wants to be fucked by you whenever you want it, and try whatever you want

4) A girl who has personality traits that are compatible with yours in terms of intelligence, sensibility, tastes, interests, etc.

A lot of players / PUAs end up with broken girls because they morph and give you the last three items, but it’s a magic trick followed by hell, so that’s why Im putting “not crazy” number one.

5) a girl who submits to you

saw this one, “why we’re wrong about happiness”.

***

so, according to the COC dude, the five ladders for happiness are:

5. stuff
4. experiences
3. growth
2. connection with others
1. mindset

that is so mediocre.

***

my top five ways of achieving “happiness” are:

1. most important, discover your talents (aka roissy commandment 3)

2. overcome your fears. this is huge.

3. seek out challenges, seek out uncomfortable situations, become friends with failure, with working your ass off, falling down and getting up. basically the tiger mom book. this is very similar to #2, but that’s how important it is.

4. start establishing deep inner confidence based on your above successes (from doing #1, 2 and 3 on a consistent basis). “deep inner confidence” cannot be based on nothing, unless you are a psychopath. it also can’t be based on simply repeating trite motivational phrases on twitter.

5. find a small group of great friends to help you along the way. no one ever does it alone.

something like that.

***

i have yet to see a great video on how to discover your talents.

come on COC dude, get your act together.

***

yohami specifically recommended some other COC video, i guess i will have to find it, because this one was disappointing.

 

 

 

Yohami’s story

from the comments:

I had many peaks of Alpha that I couldn’t explain, where everyone was deferent to me and all the girls liked me. Then I tried to convince them that I was a nice beta, or that I was really a freak, to lose all that attention naturally, and I could never replicate it.

Around 2006 I was a fully established beta. Dating online on lovehappens I found articles by some guy called DeAngelo giving tips that were counterintuitive, asking that I would be Cocky And Funny. It was very antinatural but I tried, and girls loved it, and guys loved it. Instead of doing self deprecating jokes I’d do cocky jokes, and instead of praising girls I’d do soft negs. Then of course I’d try to “be myself” which meant being a full beta, and lose all over again. I remember the resentment that people would like me when I was not “being myself”.

Fast forward some, I was obsessed with this waif tortured 16 year old girl that I had been talking with on myspace, and she was toying with me badly. She would respond to me only when I was on bad boy role, and every time I wanted go grab her I’d show my desperation and she would laugh at me. I told myself that if I couldnt get her by being myself It would be proof that all my assumptions were wrong and I needed to change. So I didnt get the girl.

Back then I was running an office with a bunch of employees, so I was situational alpha, but in reality a high functioning Beta with a freak past, overcompensating and lost. I pressed the reset button. Closed that company, got a bunch of money on my pocket and embraced PUA fulltime. Im talking about spending thousands of dollars on every books, video, tutorial, anything I could find. Spent hours and hours studying the stuff and hitting on girls everywhere, street, offices, bars, farmacies, and trying to process what was going on. I lowered my standards so I could hit on every, literally, EVERY girl. On a normal day I’d be talking to 16 girls at once. Every time I was flirting with one on the phone I’d send the same exact message to at least 10 more. And pay attention to the feedback.

I had a lot of resentment of seeing at how the faster, the more sexual I was upfront, the more the girls would open up and become easy. I would see images of women flirting with men on commercials, and in my mind that showed the twisted nature of women – these women surely had husbands of boyfriends, but there were they, flirting with some stranger that come with the swagger. So for me becoming that man, the alpha man who gets the girl was accepting that the beta dream was gone. And that was hard.

Eventually I started going out a lot, several girls at the same time, just by doing game like it was a granade instead of a sniper rifle. I wouldn’t purse one girl (to not risk oneitis) but several. Then something funny happened. I started to be very, very upfront with sexual remarks and direct flirting, and those girls would be so, so ready to met up and hang out. So I met the first one, I took her to the movies (beta), but kissed her very soon when we were in the cue, then some make out in the movie, then walking away I told her that I had pizza and that she should come, then some gropping in my couch, I touch her vagina and she was wet as hell, so I undress her and had sex. Had sex with a girl that I hadn’t met for a full 3 hours. That blew my mind. I was 30 years old.

I kept repeating this fulltime to make it engrained. I discovered very early that I couldn’t put up with all the MM bullshit of inventing stuff, making up lies, etc. I would lost track. I didn’t remember what I had said to each girl, I didnt remember my own crap. So I adopted a non-pua approach and attempted to be more of a player and center my lifestyle so I could always be the same person, instead of shifting for every girl.

So I got a nice apartment, got a bunch of “winner” type of clothes that felt very uncomfortable (had to dress them 24hs a day and even sleep with them so I could feel natural again), changed my body posture and language, enrolled in a lot of social activities that would usually drain me (I’m an introvert). I had a calendar that I had marked so every day I would be doing social. Every monday I had acting classes, tuesdays there was a rave party at a close bar, wednesdays I was practicing with my band and inviting people to see the rehearsal, thursdays I was making a small gathering at home with travelers and stuff, fridays I’d go partying, saturday I’d play with the band at a bar, sundays I’d go to a park to play frisbee.

I thought that change was going to take time but it was immediate. A week or two into it and I already had a small harem and started noticing the pattern. To notice the patterns you have to be exposed. You have to experience the nature of women and hypergamy and what is really going on. Riv experienced that for a moment when he had sex with three girls in a week: ‘every woman is the same’, ‘every pussy is the same’. This goes hard against the beta mentality so the more you can expose to it, the better. By now I was “behavioral alpha” even if it was a lot of pretense, with a super inflated ego to compensate for a weak foundation. But I was living the player life. It didn’t really feel that I was living my life, and I got lost into it.

By 2010 I had banged a couple hundred girls, but deep deep down I was still a beta. I met a girl that clicked all the right buttons and I went full beta again with her, feeling guilty for my player persona (that ironically is what brought her into me). That girl was a crazy sociopath, I tried to work that out with the beta an alpha frame and let’s say that it cured me from being a beta again. I was just able to see the contrast and the truth of each frame for once. I quit that relationship (she went on to murder? her next boyfriend, I was fortunate) and went back to player style.

I moved to a super end apartment with the intention of doing some mega parties and have a room to build a studio. Locked there for a few months doing meditation and embracing the pain until I was mostly healed and centered in alpha. How centered? Enough that walking on the street would have people turning at me, and everyone I talked to was super agreeable. Once I felt I was ready, I went out to a bar without knowing anyone. I chilled on a couch with a whiskey, looking around, then started conversation with a group, then chit chat with a girl, and got laid. The story involves some more “game” but the specifics don’t matter – got laid going out once with absolutely no effort, by not “doing” but by “being”. I kept going out like a player, talking to several girls, the prettier the better, getting laid with two different new girls a week until I got tired of it. Then tried to do an “open harem” where girls knew about each other. That didn’t work but I learned a lot about intrasexual competition in females. It’s interesting to hear them talk about all this stuff, all women are red pill. Then eventually I grew out of the players stuff, settled with one of the girls, and got married. And the only way I’m able to be in a happy so far relationship is by being an uber Alpha.

So I’ve been Omega, Beta, High functioning Beta, Situational Alpha, Behavioral Alpha, Pure Alpha, and Uber Alpha.

My next step is mega rockstar super rich famous Alpha.

Or, I know what Im talking about for fuck sake.

to recap.

day 1: kiss
day 2: kiss, blowjob
day 3: kiss, blowjob, full nakedness, fingering, almost sex

i am making progress.

don’t worry about the actual timeline.

rivelino: yohami, what are your thoughts on comfort? is it completely unneccessary?

yohami: definite comfort

rivelino: the classic MM definition, “to establish comfort, trust, and connection”, do you think it is a necessary part of seducing a girl? i don’t hear you talk about it much or give it importance.

yohami: I went and read the MM part of comfort – pretty much sounds like “hanging out”, conversation and stuff.

When you talk about comfort in your stories it sounds like non-sexual stuff though, like asking about sick family and showing vulnerability, or engaging in asexual things, or comforting in a “I dont want to have sex with you so you dont have to fear me”

So I’ll ask again, what do you mean by it?

If it’s about conversation and hanging out, aka having fun, finding if she’s cool, flirting, sharing stories, doing stuff, it is crucial. If it’s about doing things that are not sexually charged, or comforting her from a beta frame, it’s poison.

Comfort and attraction are not a cycle and they dont kill each other, but propel each other, like the push and pull.

Bottom line the woman always needs to feel comfortable. But what is comfort? what are you giving to her? there’s a difference in the frame from which you engage in this.

Alpha dick in her pussy is comfort and trust. Compliments from a beta are not comfort. A sad story from an Alpha is comfort. A Disneyland ride with a beta is not. It’s always the frame. So I’ll ask again.

Define what you mean.

yohami: Reading more about MM (haven’t touched it in 10 years?). He splits the process in modules:

Opener
Attraction
Comfort
Seduction

I haven’t read the whole thing again but I can already tell there’s a problem – seduction taking place at the end at the third location destined for sex. No fucking wonder guys doing this experience ‘last minute resistance’.

What his module seems to lack is understanding female nature. She’s been the one seducing you the whole time, and if you start the seduction at the end, chances are the window already closed a few times. Lets make it simple:

– The female dance is rigged to screen for the alpha guy
– Alpha guys lead with their sexuality

Where is sexuality placed in this list? When you get to it, you’ve been already discarded.

rivelino: yohami, one of the key MM insights is that sexual attraction has to come before seeking an emotional connection. in other words, don’t try to be her friend first. don’t hide your dick.

when he says attraction, he means sexual attraction. when he says seduction, he means the physical act of making out with her and banging her.

his big thesis is that the best way to get a girl to fall for you hard is to first get her sexually attracted to you, then get her emotionally invested in you, and *then* you bang her.

and for him, a woman becomes “sexually attracted” to a man when he displays alpha traits.

but his world was not black and white, with alpha men and beta men. he truly believed that men could pick up alpha traits, learn the MM model, and bang chicks they normally wouldn’t bang.

yohami: Still thinking about this issue. Is it your assumption that Attraction is the Alpha part, and Comfort is the Beta part?

Because that would explain quite a lot:-)

rivelino: haha, actually maybe you are right. it *is* possible that i overdo the comfort part.

my working theory is that if she agrees to go on a date with me, then she is attracted to me, and the next step is to establish an emotional connection.

i know you think i hide my dick, but i know that i don’t, because even if you don’t remember my successes, i do. i have banged girls 10-20 years younger than me, and more attractive than me, and i have done it by consciously applying stuff i learned in the #manosphere.

i do think, though, that i am uncalibrated. that i overdo comfort is very probable. i am a naturally considerate, harmony-seeking and introverted person. i don’t get off on power and i don’t get off on being the center of attention. several girls have told me recently that i am gentle, and i agree with them.

and, so if i do believe that girls get turned on by powerful, dominant men, then i gotta work on being more dominant and powerful. i gotta overdo it until i find what works. that is my challenge.

regardless, i think your statement “you can’t build alpha on top of beta” perfectly defines your game philosophy. that must make you feel good, because by defintion it means you are 100% alpha, to the core. and anyone who shows any beta tendencies is beta to the core, and needs to raze the structure and start all over.

black and white, baby.

“It’s not that women are inherently evil, it’s that men’s idealism make them so available to being betrayed, tortured and damned.” -Rollo

great quote from this post, where he is responding to this bukowski quote:

Don’t wait for the good woman. She doesn’t exist. There are women who can make you feel more with their bodies and their souls but these are the exact women who will turn the knife into you right in front of the crowd. Of course, I expect this, but the knife still cuts. The female loves to play man against man, and if she is in a position to do it there is not one who will resist. The male, for all his bravado and exploration, is the loyal one, the one who generally feels love. The female is skilled at betrayal and torture and damnation. Never envy a man his lady. Behind it all lies a living hell.

–Charles Bukowski

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